The Loud House Re-Write - One of the Boys
Every day is the same formula for Lincoln. Waking up to the usual chaos done by his sisters, and enjoying his life being their brother. But even sisters have their weaknesses, and this year wasn't an exception. One day, Lincoln was in the living room eating his breakfast. Lincoln: (to the viewers) There's nothing like waking up to a nice sunny day enjoying some pancakes for breakfast. (Lincoln begins eating, then he tries to bite into a rather sticky part of the pancake) Lola: Lincoln! Do you have to eat like an animal?! Lincoln: (slightly annoyed) Gee sorry, this part's so hard to bite off. Besides, you put up with Lana doing stuff like that all the time. Lola: Still, slow it down! (walks away) Lincoln: Fine. (Lincoln continues eating.) Luan: as Mr. Coconuts That's all for sports, and now the weather. When he was done, he burps loudly) Lincoln: (covers his mouth) Excuse me Luan: Mr. Coconuts' voice It's cloudy with a chance of... speaks as herself now You're disgusting. Lincoln: Oh come on Luan, I said excuse me. Luan: Yeah, but it's still gross, especially coming from you. (walks away) Lincoln: (slightly upset) Well, that was kind of mean. Leni: (rushes downstairs) Oh hey Lincoln, there you are! Lincoln: What's up Leni? Leni: Me and Lori are going to the mall, and we want you to come. Lincoln: What? Why? Leni: We need someone to carry our bags. We can't carry it all. Lincoln: What?! (At the mall, Lincoln was carrying a good chunk of the bags with Lori and Leni only carrying one) Lori: Ooh Leni! Look at that new dress store! Leni: (gasps) I hope they have pretty ones! (Lori and Leni rush towards the store. Lincoln has trouble keeping up) Lincoln: Wait for me! (Lincoln trips over and the bags fall down) Lincoln: (groans) Dang it! THE NEXT DAY (Lincoln was downstairs playing video games, when Lori comes down) Lori: Lincoln, we have a meeting in five. Lincoln: (sighs) Sure Lori. (Five minutes later, Lincoln goes upstairs and into Lori's room where the rest of his sisters were) Lori: Alright, so where should we go this weekend? Lincoln: Can we go to Dairyland? Sisters: (All make a buzzer noise and give him a thumbs down) Lincoln: Oh come on! I know some of you love Dairyland! Luna: Yeah bro, but not when there's tons of better options. Lincoln: How about the Gus' Games and Grub? Sisters: (All make a buzzer noise and give him a thumbs down) Lincoln: (annoyed) Seriously?! You guys love Gus' Games and Grub! Leni: Like we said Lincoln, better options. Lincoln: Well then how about... Sisters: (All make a buzzer noise and give him a thumbs down) Lincoln: (annoyed) You didn't even let me finish! Lynn: (gasps) I've got an idea! Why don't we go check out that restaurant that discounts prices for girls? Leni: (smiles) Maybe we can invite our crushes to come with us! Lori: (smiles) That's a great idea! It's decided, we'll go there! Lincoln: (sighs) No... Luna: What's the matter little bro? Lincoln: How come you guys never wanna do what I suggest? Lori: Their lame activities. Lynn: Yeah, some of them are pretty boring. Lana: I don't know who'd like eating that gross sandwich of yours. Luan: Yeah, they make a good point Lincoln. Leni: We thought this one could be better for ALL of us to enjoy. Lincoln: Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not coming with you guys to this place, and that's final. (walks away) (Lincoln goes back into his room and slams his door. He gets into bed looking annoyed) Lincoln: (sighs) I can't believe they never like what I like doing. Can't they just give it a chance? (slumps down) Sometimes, I wish I had brothers instead of sisters... (Lincoln eventually falls asleep. But at one point in the night, Lincoln is woken up by Lisa) Lincoln: (yawns) What do you want Lisa? Lisa: I've been pondering your wish from earlier. Lincoln: My wish? Wait, how did you hear me? Lisa: Like I'm the only one who can hear through our incredibly thin walls. (pulls out some kind of wristwatch) This wristwatch can transport you to an alternate dimension in which you'll have ten brothers. Lincoln: (sarcastic) Riiiiiight... (gets down from chain) Lisa, I think you've been playing with too many kiddie chemicals. (Lisa presses the button on the watch and a portal opens up) Lincoln: (surprised) Holy moly! Awesome! (proceeds to enter it, but stops) Wait. Why are you doing this for me? Lisa: I need beta testers. Now, are we doing this, or am I sending Lana to a dimension where she's a toad? Lincoln: Oh, we're doing it! Lisa: One word of caution: you only have 48 hours to return home. Otherwise, you'll be stuck there forever. Lincoln: Got it! (grabs the watch and puts it on) Let's do this! Lisa: Are you sure you want to do this? You could potentially leave your sisters behind. Lincoln: (annoyed) Well, maybe if you guys respected me like a boy instead of what they think, I wouldn't be doing this. (A timer starts ticking down from the 48 hour limit) Lisa: (sighs) Good luck, brother. (Lisa pushes Lincoln into the vortex as he screams. Lincoln comes out on the other end of the portal and it closes. Everything looks the same) Lincoln: Wait, is this the same place? I thought this was some alternate dimension... (Lincoln suddenly heard retro noises from Lori and Leni's room. He peeks in and notices a teenage boy playing video games on the PS4) Loki: (groans) Come on, clearly that couldn't hit me! Lincoln: (confused) Uhh, maybe I was wrong? (Suddenly, another boy walked out from the bathroom and into the room) Loni: Loki! Did you have to leave this mess on your bed again?! Loki: Hey, when you're a hardcore gamer, this is bound to happen. Loni: (groans) Could you at least take responsibility? (notices Lincoln) Oh hey Lincoln! Lincoln: (shocked) Uhh, hi... Loki: Umm, are you feelin' okay bro? Lincoln: I'm fine... (Suddenly, Luna's door blew open as a boy around her age was playing hardcore music) Luke: YEEEEAH!!! ROCK ON!!!! Lane: Just make sure your career doesn't hit 'rock' bottom! (laughs) Get it? Lincoln: (shocked) Wow, this really is an alternate dimension! (A soccer ball suddenly hits Lincoln in the head) Lincoln: (groans) Ow! Boy Lynn: Whoops, sorry bro! Didn't see you there! Lars: Watch where you're kicking, I'm still reading this Creepypasta. Boy Lynn: (rolls his eyes) Come on Lars, those are fake. Lars: That's what you think. Lincoln: You're not into poems? Lars: Poems are sappy, internet stories fulfill my happiness. Lincoln: (wide eyed) Okay then... Rita: Lexx, you don't have to help me with the chores. Lexx: Yes I do Mom! I wanna be a gentleman so I can have a good reputation! Rita: Well, you're very sweet dear. Leif: (snickers) Bein' mama's boy again Lexx? Lexx: Hey lay off Leif! Leif: (laughs) Can't even take a joke. (burps loudly) Lexx: (coughs) You stink! Levi: (exits his room) Everyone please stay away from my room, I think I've created an alien life form. Lincoln: An alien? Levi: A simple malfunction, thankfully not as extreme as last time. Lincoln: Which was what? Levi: A gender swap. Lincoln: (laughs nervously) Oh how I wonder. (A young baby crawled up to Lincoln and tugged his pants) Leon: (smiles) Baa-baa! Lincoln: (smiles) Oh hey there little guy! (picks him up) You're cute, aren't you? Leif: (gags) Eugh, that word makes me puke! Lincoln: (smirks) I bet. Leif: (goes into his room) Hey El Diablo, it's feeding time! (Suddenly, a medium sized Tiger comes out from Leif's room) Lincoln: (horrified) I-Is that a t-t-tiger?! Leif: Oh come on, you know how tame he is. Luke: Come on bros, we gotta get ready! Levi: Oh, how could I have forgotten, the only zone with that combination of soft ground and non-aquatic base. Lincoln: (confused) You mean the beach? Levi: (deadpanned) What else would I mean? Lincoln: (excited) Oh sweet! (Later, Lincoln and his new brothers were at the beach doing their activities) Boy Lynn: Here comes the bat! (hits a baseball) Leif: I got it! I got it! Lexx: (building a sand castle) Ah, looks perfect! (Nearby, Loki, Loni, Luke, and Lane were playing volleyball) Loki: Eat this! (hits the volleyball) Lane: 'Sand' it returns! (hits the volleyball and laughs) Get it? (Lincoln was under a tree sitting with Lars) Lars: Hopefully the sun doesn't burn my skin. Lincoln: I'm sure you'll be fine. (Lincoln sits back and smiles, watching the other brothers having fun) Lincoln: (in his head) This is great, I finally have some guys who like the same things as me. At least they're willing to give this a chance unlike my sisters. (After the beach trip, the siblings all drive back home) Boy Lynn: Man, that was awesome! Loni: That was a nice change of pace. Luke: Wicked! Lincoln: Glad we all had fun! (That night, all the brothers were getting ready for bed) Lincoln: (in his head) I can't believe I don't sleep in the closet, this is gonna be different for me! Lynn Sr.: Alright boys, lights out! (Lynn Sr. turns off the night as Lincoln hops onto the top bunk) Lincoln: (yawns) What a great day. Night guys! Lars: Farewell, for now. (closes his cofin) Boy Lynn: (yawns) Night fellas. (falls asleep) (Lincoln happily falls asleep) THE NEXT DAY (Lincoln was in the hallway checking his watch) Lincoln: Only 29 hours to go. I wish this wouldn't end. (realizes) Wait a minute, maybe it doesn't have to end! (Lincoln puts the watch under his pillow, and exits. However, he fails to notice one of Boy Lynn's tennis balls, and trips over) Lincoln: (in pain) Ow, my thumb! Lexx: (notices) Oh, an injury! (Lexx suddenly takes Lincoln's thumb and rubs it, followed by a kiss) Lincoln: (confused) Okay...? Lexx: Only a prince like myself can be this charming! (walks away) Lincoln: (confused) But I'm not... Oh nevermind. Lane: Hey Lincoln, (helps him up) What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back for seconds! Lincoln: (smirks) That's kind of funny. Lane: Not as funny as last year's 'beautiful' pumpkin, seriously, it was GOURDgeous! Lincoln: (giggles) That's good. Lane: (smirks) I nail this everytime. (walks away) Lincoln: (smiles) He's got good puns, kind of like Luan. (thinks) I can't even remember the last time she made a good pun. (Lincoln then has a flashback. He was in his room, feeling upset when Luan walks in) Luan: Hey little brother, what's wrong? Lincoln: (sighs) This girl at school rejected my affection. Luan: (thinks) Hmmm... Hey, what did the guy with the broken leg say to his nurse? “I’ve got a crutch on you.” Lincoln: (smirks) Luan... Luan: Is Google male or female? I think it's...Female, because it doesn't let you finish a sentence before making a suggestion! Lincoln: (laughs) L-Luan! Luan: (smiles) Did that cheer you up? Lincoln: (giggles) Yeah, it did, thanks sis. Luan: You're welcome little bro. (The flashback ends) Lincoln: (smiles) Oh yeah, I remember... Loni: Remember what? Lincoln: Uhh, remember the last time a girl liked me. Loni: Smoothe Lincoln. (goes downstairs carrying dirty bowls) Lincoln: What's with all those dirty bowls? Loni: Loki, he's always leaving his plates around. He tells me "I'm always hungry because I'm a hardcore gamer!" Lincoln: Oh I see. Loni: Sometimes I wish I could do something unique instead of being Loki's slave. Lincoln: He's the oldest, this is kind of expected. At least you have your brothers' back. Loni: (smiles) That's true. Thanks Lincoln. (rubs his head and walks upstairs) Lincoln: (smiles) Hm, he's kind of different than Leni. He seems to be into tidy things, but man helping him just then reminds me of how I used to help Leni. (Lincoln remembers when he used to help Leni learn how to drive) Lincoln: (giggles) Good times. Luke: (notices) Hey dude! You should come hear this rockin' new song I made. Lincoln: Oh sure, I'll have a listen. (Lincoln goes into Luke's room as he starts playing his guitar) Lincoln: Wow, Luke's playing is very different compared to Luna... Luke: (confused) Who's Luna? Lincoln: Uhh, she's a friend from school. (Luke shrugs, as he continues playing) Lincoln: (thinks) I remember the first time Luna played a song. (Flashback to Luna at the age of thirteen playing her first song on her guitar, while Lincoln at the age of nine was listening) Luna: You like it Lincoln? Lincoln: (smiles) That was a great song Luna. Luna: I'm a little bit rusty, but I'm sure I'll get better. Lincoln: I know you will, because I believe in you. Luna: (smiles) Thanks Lincoln. (Luna gives Lincoln a hug as it cuts back to the present) Lincoln: (sighs) That was a great time... Luke: Okay bro, now you're just talking strangely. (Lincoln leaves Luke's room, then he notices Lars on his laptop reading Creepypastas) Lars: Oooh, this game could have a demonic copy somewhere. Lincoln: Uhh, you know it's just an internet story, right? Lars: You don't know that. Lincoln: You should try something creative, like write poems. Lars: No, I'm not a professional at that. (continues reading) Lincoln: (thinks) Hmm... (leaves Lars' room) That was different. I thought someone like Lars would've liked that. I suppose not everyone can be the same... (Later, all the boys were in Loki and Loni's room having a meeting) Loki: Alright boys, we all know what this Friday is. Leif: Zoo night?! Loki: Umm, no. We decide where we go for a day of fun. Luke: Oooh, I got an idea! Let's go paintball! Lincoln: Oooh, I've never done that before! Let's do it! Lane: I agree! Lexx: I don't know, seems too messy. Loni: Doesn't it hurt? Boy Lynn: You two can stay here, while we go and smash each other! Loki: It's settled then. (All the brothers leave the room, leaving Lincoln slightly shocked) Lincoln: Lexx? Loni? You don't like paintball? Loni: No, I don't find it to be that fun. Lexx: It's too violent. Lincoln: Gee, I thought you guys would've agreed like everyone else. Lexx: You can't always agree with everything. Loni: Everyone has their own opinion, regardless of who they are. (Lexx and Loni walk away, leaving Lincoln in shock) Lincoln: Oh my gosh, I wasn't expecting that... (Lincoln goes downstairs, just looking around the house) Lincoln: (to himself) This feels... different. Maybe I was wrong, not everyone likes or hates everything, regardless of gender. (Lincoln looks towards the couch, and imagines him with his sisters watching the Dream Boat) Luna: (in his head) I hope Brock wins! Leni: (in his head) No way, we all know Bryant should win! Lola: (in his head) No, you two are wrong! Lincoln: (in his head) C'mon, we should at least respect each other's choices. Besides, the tension is real! (The sisters all chatter) Lynn: (in his head) Lincoln, it's fun watching this with you. Luan: (in his head) I suppose even boys can enjoy this! Lori: (in his head) We should all respect each other's thoughts. (The imagination fades away, as Lincoln begins to feel a bit sad) Lincoln: (sighs) I'm right, this isn't the same... (That evening, the family was eating at the table) Rita: So, did you boys decide where you want to go this Friday? Boy Lynn: Paintball! Lars: Well, except for Loni and Lexx. Lexx: We don't want to do it! Luke: (smirks) You're missing out. Lane: What do you think Lincoln? (Lincoln was just quietly eating his dinner) Luke: Lincoln? Loki: Are you okay? Lincoln: (sighs) I'm fine. I'm just, feeling upset. Lynn Sr.: About what son? Lincoln: Just... some girl rejecting me. Lars: Don't worry about her. Leif: Yeah, you'll get another chance! (Lincoln puts his plate away and goes outside. He sits on the porch and looks at the stars) Lincoln: (to the viewers) This isn't my family... (sighs) I know my sisters have recently been acting selfish, but they're my sisters, and they love me no matter what. We all go through things like this... (Lincoln continues looking back up at the stars) Lincoln: (to himself) Lori, you're always supporting me when it comes to romance. Leni, and your sweet attitude and care for fashion. Luna, your music always brings me joy. Luan, you always make me laugh. Lynn, you stand up for me... Lucy, you're like me, sometimes a shadow to everyone... Lana, your love for animals... was cute. Lola, as bossy as you were, had a heart at least. Lisa, your quirky behavior was always helpful... Lily... (voice breaking) sweet Lily... (Lincoln wipes his tears away, and finally feels regret) Lincoln: (to himself; sniffs) I feel like an idiot... I valued my own need for wanting my sisters to do the same activities as me, over my own love for them... I miss them so much! I love them so much! (Lincoln rubs his tears again, then he realizes) Lincoln: (gasps) Wait a minute, my watch! I can go back! (Lincoln runs back inside and into his room. He looks under his pillow and finds his watch. He notices he had 12 hours left) Lincoln: (smiles) Yes, plenty of time! (Lincoln was about to leave, when suddenly his brothers stood in front of him) Loki: Okay Lincoln, you're acting weird. Lane: Yeah, you better tell us what's wrong with you. Lincoln: (breathes) Listen guys. I'm not your brother. I came from another universe, where you guys are actually females! Their names are Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, Lynn, Lucy, Lana, Lola, Lisa, and Lily! They're my sisters, and I need to go back! (The brothers all looked at each other, and began laughing) Luke: (laughing) What have you been smoking?! Lincoln: (annoyed) I'm serious! Boy Lynn: (stops laughing) But seriously, I knew something was wrong with you! Leif: (gasps) Maybe it's that watch messing his brain up! Levi: (thinks) Hmm, it does look unusual. (takes the watch) I need to examine this. Lincoln: H-hey! Give it back! Loni: Stay back Lincoln! It's messing with your brain! (The four oldest brothers hold Lincoln back) Lincoln: Let me go! Levi: I'll put this somewhere safe in my room. (walks away) Lincoln: (groans) Come on! Lane: No Lincoln, it's for your own good! (Lincoln continued struggling, until he got an idea) Lincoln: (smirks) You know what? You're right, it's messing with me. I'll stay away. Loki: Good. Loni: You had us worried. Lexx: Yeah, that watch seemed freaky! Leif: I know what'll make you better! Let's all watch Star Wars! (The brothers all agree, as they leave the room and go downstairs. Lincoln quietly waited, then he saw Levi exit his room. He quickly goes in and looks for the watch) Lincoln: (pants) Where is it?! (Lincoln notices the watch on Levi's desk. He grabs it, but suddenly, Leon woke up in his crib) Leon: (starts crying) Milky!! (The brothers were alerted by Leon's cry, so Loni begins going upstairs) Lincoln: (scared) I gotta get out of here! (Lincoln runs out the room and activates the portal in front of his room, right when Loni arrives) Loni: (gasps) Lincoln?! You have the watch! Lincoln: (panics) Bye!! (Lincoln quickly jumps into the portal as it closes. Lincoln makes it through the portal and ends up back in his linen closet room. But...) Lincoln: (gasps) I'm back! (gets excited) Lori! Luna! Lucy! I'm back! (Lincoln comes out his room, but instead of what he expected...) Loni: (groans) Loki, stop leaving this mess! Loki: You know me, hardcore gamer. Lars: Can you two keep it down? I can't enjoy this story without this noise. Lincoln: (shocked) It didn't work?! Boy Lynn: Oh, hey Linka! Lincoln: (confused) Wait, LINKA?! (Lincoln notices he had pink toenails. He turns the light on to his room, and it was all girly, and he finds in his mirror that he is no longer Lincoln Loud; he is now Linka Loud) Linka: (gasps) I'M IN THE WRONG DIMENSION! (Linka screams in horror and then it immediately changes back to Lincoln, who screams as he wakes up. It turns out Lincoln was having a nightmare. His room is the same as it was and he's still Lincoln Loud) Lincoln: (pants) Oh my gosh, what a horrible nightmare! (gulps) I hope it's a nightmare! (Suddenly, Lori, Leni, Luna, and Luan burst into Lincoln's room) Leni: (worried) Linky, are you okay?! Luna: (worried) We heard you scream just then! Lori: (worried) Did you have a nightmare?! Luan: (worried) Was it scary?! (Lincoln just looked at his sisters, developing tears of relief in his eyes. He jumps out of bed and hugs Luna tightly, crying on her chest) Luna: (worried) Aw dude, don't cry. Lincoln: (sniffs) I m-missed you! Luna: (confused) Missed us? Lori: Okay, did you have some nightmare? Lincoln: Oh... It's best I don't tell you. Leni: Linky, we're here to help you, please tell us. Lincoln: (sighs) Okay. (breathes) Well, I had a dream where you guys were boys instead of girls. Lori: (annoyed) What?! Luna: (annoyed) Why?! Lincoln: I thought you guys weren't being fair before. I wanted to have siblings to do the same as me. But now I realized we all have different preferences, no matter the gender. I'm sorry. Luan: (sighs) Well, we're annoyed with why you had the dream. Luna: But at the same time, we can't blame you. We were being pretty selfish before. Lori: Yeah, especially with the whole mall thing. Leni: We're really sorry Linky. We don't have to go to that restaurant if you don't want to. Lincoln: No really, it's good. You guys go. Lori: (thinks) I tell ya what, how about on Saturday, some of us can do what you want. Lincoln: You really mean it? Lori: (smiles) Yes. Lincoln: (smiles) Thanks, but I don't care about that very much, I'm just happy I'm with the sisters I've loved my whole life. Luan: (smiles) Awwww! Leni: (smiles) Come here Linky! (Lincoln hugs his four sisters with a big smile, glad to be reunited with his family. On the next day, Lincoln once again woke up to the usual chaos) Lana: Tag Izzy! You're it! Lola: Ewww! Keep your pets away from me! Lucy: (writing a poem) Oh yeah, this looks good. Lincoln: (smiles) Morning everyone! (All the sisters look towards Lincoln) Sisters: (smile) Morning Lincoln! Lana: We're glad you're up, Leni told us about what happened last night. Lynn: Yeah, we're sorry about what we did. Lincoln: (giggles) Guys, it's all good, I appreciate the support, as to be expected from my ten great sisters. (The sisters all smile as they hug Lincoln) Lincoln: (to the viewers) I'm never going to trade my sisters for anyone, ever again. The End Category:Episodes Category:Re-writes